music is the heartbeat of my soul :D

well, to answer your question…it’s A LOT cheaper than perfume. no, but seriously it’s my life. i’ve dedicated more than half of my life to this sport and i don’t plan on stopping. swimming is my band-aid for a broken heart, my passion, my destresser, my addiction and my best friend. swimming has always been there for me through everything: the broken hearts, the difficulties in my life, the death of my best friend…swimming was there. i’m not happy until i’ve swum at least 2,000 yards. you can ask my parents, they constantly tell me that swimming makes me a happier and better person. swimming makes me feel powerful, strong and beautiful all at the same time. i’ve never been the smallest girl, but when i look at myself in the mirror i think to myself “just think about what this body can do in the water. 28 seconds for a 50 free, that’s impressive”. some of my favorite memories are swim meets with my friends and hearing them cheer for me from the sidelines. i remember getting out of the pool after my 200 IM and looking into the stands and seeing my grandparents with the biggest smile on their faces. i LOVED that feeling of knowing i made them proud to have me for their granddaughter. even some of my favorite nicknames have either come from my teammates or have come from my love of swimming. my mom calls me a fish out of water because i never want to leave the pool. if she would let me, i would live in the pool. due to recent events i came to the conclusion (with the help of a good friend) that i might have to take a short break from swimming. i started crying, i can’t imagine my life without swimming. i’ve told several of my friends and even a few of my boyfriends that “if the love of my life walked into my room right now and told me he’d marry me, but i had to give up swimming…i’d give him up. i would choose swimming over a boy every single time”. i’ve had several people comment on how crazy i am to continue swimming when i’m not gonna make it to the olympics. that was my goal since i started swimming, but i’ve come to realize that i’ve accomplished so much more in my swimming career: i fell in love with fly, which i used to hate with a passion, and got my best time my junior year; i’ve made lasting friendships with some amazing people and i’ve found something that makes me feel proud of myself. with all of that, i can handle not going to the olympics.

to sum it up for you i have a saying (that i would like to get tattooed on my shoulder blade one day) “if my life was the moon than my world would be swimming”. that’s it. swimming is my world.

this is my final goodbye. i’m giving up. the hopes and dreams i had for us have finally died. they’ll forever rest in peace in my heart. at times i’ll be haunted, but you will too.

*rough draft*

…who dances around the kitchen in her pajamas. :)

…who lives her life like a country song. :)

…who can make you smile when all she wants to do is cry. :)

…who respects herself enough to not give in to a guy. :)

…who loves her friends enough that she’d put her life on the line for them. :)

…who is still daddy’s little princess at the age of almost 20. :)

…who can actually talk sports with you. :)

…who is a weird combo of a tomboy and a girly girl. :)

…who prefers grass stains over lace on her clothes. :)

…who linedances with her loves on the weekends. :)

…who doesn’t judge you for how you dress, just how you act. :)

…who is happier single than being in a relationship. :) (that doesn’t mean i won’t date you tho :P)

…who may have been born in the north, but was raised like a southern girl. :)

…who says “y’all”, “hell yeah”, “warsh” and “windasill”. :)

…who loves herself the way she is. :)

…who listens to all types of music, but country will always be her number one. :)

…who will always be worth it. :)

…who is running through your dreams every night; you just don’t know it yet. :)

…who is Kirsten Michelle and will NEVER change that. :)

You weren’t the one for me
And that’s fine by me.
I’ll move on to bigger and better things;
I’ll live and love and move on.
I’ve got one life to live and I’m gonna make the best of it.
I’m not gonna let you keep me anchored to the ocean floor
When all I wanna do is swim.

I’m a woman.
I’m stronger by myself than with any man.
You wanted me to change, to become someone I’m not.
You may be a snake, but I know I’m not;
I can’t shed my skin to become what you want

I was promised the moon and the stars.
Seriously, did you really think I was that dumb?
I never wanted those things, I just wanted your heart.
Now I’ve moved on in record time.
You’re the last thing on my mind.

I’m a woman.
I’m stronger by myself than with any man.
You wanted me to change, to become someone I’m not.
You may be a snake, but I know I’m not;
I can’t shed my skin to become what you want.

One day, you’re gonna look back
And realize how much you miss me.
By then I’ll be long gone and living my life
Without you.

I gave you everything I could and you took it for granted.
No more second chances.
I’m not gonna let you keep me anchored to the ocean floor
When all I wanna do is swim.

I’m a woman.
I’m stronger by myself than with any man.
You wanted me to change, to become someone I’m not.
You may be a snake, but I know I’m not;
I can’t shed my skin to become what you want.

I just wanna swim.
I just wanna swim.
I’m not gonna let you keep me anchored to the ocean floor
When I just wanna swim.

1. i’d choose sporting events over a party any day.
2. i’d rather have grass stains on my clothes than lacey frills.
3. i see crying as a sign of weakness; no one sees me cry.
4. a broken bone is another awesome story about how stupid i was acting.
5. i love building things. the hardware store is my favorite place to be.
6. music is the heartbeat of my soul.
7. chlorine is my drug; the pool is my drug dealer.
8. my family means everything to me. they are the rock that holds me up and i love them to death.
9. my best friends are amazing. if you’re lucky enough to be one of them, feel honored, i don’t let lots of people get close.
10. i’m afraid to get hurt. my heart is a fragile object and it’s not easy to glue it back together.
11. i’ve done stupid things and made stupid mistakes, don’t judge me just based on those.
12. i’m an awesome person once you get to know me.
13. i’m a redneck princess, you don’t want to mess with me.
14. i believe that home is where the heart is. my home is down south in biloxi, mississippi. <3
15. i’m the only blonde hair, blue eyed, pale, short person in my family. i LOVE being unique.
16. i get along better with boys then i do with girls. i don’t like drama, fights over stupid things or clothes shopping.
17. my dad is the greatest, awesomest guy in my life.
18. i like even numbers, i hate odd things (even tho i’m odd. :P).

ever feel like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders and all of sudden you can’t hold it up anymore; everything comes crashing down around you? that’s exactly how i feel right now. all the stuff that i tried to hide from finally found me. every broken heart, every fight, every death just hit me in the face like a ton of bricks. this sucks giant monkey balls… </3